Happy Easter! Morning air smells sweet. Whatever happened 2 those comunities of brown & gray rabbits round these parts? Annihil8 each other?
WashPost "America loves a vigilante. Until we meet one." (http://wapo.st/IgpbHC) JK--Exactly my opinion of westerns & cops/robbers flicks.
@vbabu75 Yes, I am. If you notice my tweeting style, I do that quite a lot. #SmarterCities are those that go fully social for max citizen participatory democracy.
#SmarterCities, a prime KPI is "distribute & target time-critical alerts instantaneously, broadly, & reliably to all impacted parties "
#SmarterCities, a prime KPI is "time the traffic lights for smoothest, safest, highest throughput flow 24x7."
Weeds (def'n): family of vegetation that evolved for the specific purpose of offending humanity's aesthetics.
I've never understood the distinction between "serious money" & "funny money." Not a spectrum. One copper cent isn't funny, but not serious
The Beatles "Her Majesty" (http://youtu.be/Tzb5QABCmak) JK--Cool knockoff by Paul. Cool tht Fabs tacked onto "The End" of their last orig LP
One of many prescient things about "Max Headroom": real-time second-by-second monitoring of TV-viewership ratings. Social sentiment analysis
Let's see now. I've officially been a father for a cool quarter-century as of today. Happy 25th to my very-grown boy
Dr Perry Cox top-5 rants from "Scrubs" (http://youtu.be/t-b6GIo1g68) JK--McGinley embodied a classic cranky wounded-professional character
"Office Space" on "people skills" (http://youtu.be/mGS2tKQhdhY) with the gr8 John McGinley, aka Dr Cox from the equally gr8 "Scrubs"
I'd like to nominate "Office Space" for funniest film of the past quarter-century.
Funny "Family Guy" cameo of "Lumbergh" character from "Office Space" (http://youtu.be/ly8gPLiQUUc). A cl;assic creepy coldfish type.
Some people I follow on Twitter dont tweet many interesting bits. But I like their faces/portraits & like seeing them stream by in TweetDeck
@vbabu75 "First tweet!!" JK--Your first tweet was a good one. Short, sweet, & to the point. I like that in a tweeter.
Glad we don't call all this "societal media." Cuz "society" rhymes with anxiety. But "social" reminds me of "ice cream social." Um, yummy.
Relaxing morning trying to follow everybody in
#IBM who's on Twitter. All ten zillion of them. One new colleague at a time.
"Change we believe in." The only change I believe in is when cashier hands me back the exact diff between my purchase & the cash I gave them
@stokefire because their motto is "We brand stuff. And we do it pretty damn well." Using "damn" in compound qualifier makes me laff
@Thingnamer because his Twitter motto is "I brand stuff. With... my... MIND."
My glass-top deck table is covered by a thin layer of green pollen. I know Spring is upon us when it's so thick it looks like a table cloth
Wish Twitter had a natural-language translation function built in, so, e.g., I can understand what the Chinese data scientists are tweeting
I love boldness of someone on Twitter putting "social media titan" into their profile. Following him just because. Self-fulfilling prophecy
Watched "Ides of March" on DVD. 5-way acting duel between 2 handsomes (Clooney, Gosling), 2 homelies (PSHoffman, Giamatti) & 1 babe (ERWood)
@camera_obscura_: "It's Gavin's Wedding day today folks if you wanna wish him all the best" JK--Spring weddings are auspicious. Congrats!
Systematically and individually thanked everybody who congrats'd me on social. Whew! Thanks for your well wishes, one and all.
Madonna has the number one album in the country. 53-year-old Madonna who refuses 2 stop landing on the charts. Bless her cussed careeredness
Drinking tea, eating baklava, catching up on casual Facebooking, preparing to watch the DVD of "Ides of March." That's my Fri eve status rpt
Listening to Cream "Swlabr," wondering if the picture & rainbow ever shaved their mustache & beard, respectively
Listening to The Who "The Seeker," seeking a bit of what Roger, Pete, and the boys were seeking.
Listening to the Beatles "I Feel Fine," feeling fine.
"MIT's Smart Sand Can 'Build' Whatever It Touches" (http://bit.ly/HkxhKT) JK--Watch & listen to explanatory video. It will blow your mind.
"The death of In-Stat and the hollowing of the industry" (http://bit.ly/HDS9v9) JK--Tiny analyst firms tend to succumb to human mortality.
"Estimating The Economics Behind BYOD Security" (http://bit.ly/HDROIU) JK--And a new buzzphrase is born.
"Google goggles." Funny to say. May be funny-looking to wear. May make the world look funny. My mind boggles at the googularity of it all.
#SmarterPlanet, the planetary KPIs should be consensual, though the nations may disagree on best approaches for achieving KPI targets
Governance is gut + numbers. In contentious political environmt, each side's gut tells them other side playing fast & loose with the numbers
"Ethics exceptions." I nominate that for best new euphemism of the week.
New blogpost: "Smarter Planet: Think Global, Optimize Local" (http://bit.ly/HnofxT)
Thanks to my Twitter friend who pointed me back to the older version of TweetDeck. I've de-installed the latest, which stinks to high heaven
@Thingnamer: Owning a pet sloth is illegal in the US? It's a Judeo-Christian conspiracy, I tell you! (Deadly sins are too damn cute.)
"Cows: The Innocent Bystanders" (http://on.wsj.com/HBA3Ki) JK--Good balanced WSJ discussion of controvrsy surrounding so-called "pink slime"
"Techies get reality TV show" (http://bit.ly/HiMhbB) JK--Produced by R. Zuckerberg. "Silicon Valley is highschool, but only the smart kids"
Is there an iPhone app called "What would Steve do?" If there were, many tech industry pros would check it obsessively.
BYOD raises many issues. One of the issues is: When "D" also stands for "data," there's no single version of truth. Need
#EDW & governance
"In the future we will all be even more annoying" (http://tek.io/I1u3wK) JK--Augmented-reality eyeglasses unnecesary? So are neckties.
Typical Fox News caption: "Religion Under Attack." Flip them channels some more.
#SmarterCity reflects smarter governance structure & elimin8s nuisance burden tht dumb/suboptimal infrastructure once exertd on civic smarts
Univision. "El Gordo" se llama Raul de Molina. Tiene website de "los gustos," donde Sr. de Molina habla de restaurantes favoritos.
Advanced visualization. It's where analytics infuse the imagination. Without it, you have to try harder to breathe life into cold fact.
Smarter governance of all institutions. Depends on decision & process optimization everywhere, w/ transparency, access, & influence for all
"Did you not get the memo?" Now, in a social business environment, it's "Did you not see the tweet?"
My URL-shortener on the new TweetDeck keeps f-ing up. What's the deal with this version? Gives you fewer settings/options than previously.
"Big Bang Meets Big Data" (http://www.smartertechnology.com/c/a/Business-Analytics/Big-Bang-Meets-Big-Data/?kc=STNL04032012STR2) JK--And powered by Big Blue, aka
"IBM Smarter Commrce 4 Midsize Biz" (http://www.it-director.com/blogs/Laurie_McCabe/2012/4/ibm_smarter_commerce_for_midsize_b_.html) JK--"deep insight into cust behav...anticip8 & predict behav 2 take immed action"
"Google Project Glass:Tech Reality Or Pie In The Sky?" (http://www.crn.com/slide-shows/client-devices/232800318/google-project-glass-technical-reality-or-pie-in-the-sky.htm;jsessionid=5lWX2iVcS4kMLBy8DhVx4Q**.ecappj01?cid=nl_crn) JK--Great idea. Superimpose image of pie on Silicon Valley sky
#SmarterCities requires political leadership in community to recognize that interdependencies among systemic issues require fresh approach
#SmarterCities is dashboarding scorecarding & monitoring all yr commmunity's KPIs. A city is incredibly complex intertwined fabric
New blogpost: "IBM Big Data: Fostering a Smarter Planet" (https://w3-connections.ibm.com/blogs/jkobielus-public/?lang=en_us)
"New Cloud Federation Business Model for CDN Services" (http://www.networkworld.com/community/blog/new-cloud-federation-business-model-cdn-services?source=NWWNLE_nlt_network_optimization_2012-04-05) JK--Curious what
#BigData infra this cloud fed'n requires.
"From Big Bang 2
#BigData: ASTRON & IBM Collab 2 Explore Origins of Universe" (http://www-03.ibm.com/press/us/en/pressrelease/37361.wss) JK--Computing scale also astronomical
Speculation on who might play Larry Ellison in Jobs biopic. I nominate Gary Cole, aka "Lumbergh" from "Office Space" (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0170550/)
"'Kelso' as Steve Jobs just doesn’t sound right" (http://bit.ly/HhRww2) JK--Agreed. Kutcher plays too many slackers. No killer instinct
"Sight 2 behold: blind man behind wheel of self-driving car" (http://bit.ly/HhR6po) JK--Tech could give fresh mobility 2 all disabled people
Graph database features are key 2 influence mining, anti-fraud, root cause analysis, & other behavioral analytics, in channels & back-end
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." Who from the govt would say those exact words? They'd name the agency they're from. And help
"A sampling of BYOD user policies" (http://bit.ly/HPeFHX) JK--Think of it as like dress-code policy. Employer doesn't pick your wardrobe.
Glad that Kelly mentions graph store features in DB2 v10 (http://bit.ly/HimMNw). But he ignores many tailored solution appliances on Netezza
Orbit gum's chirpy tidy blond young English "smashing" pitchlady is fun in one-note sense. But Geico's cockney pitchgecko is flat-out funny
Luke Wilson did guest spot on "That 70s Show," looking, like he and bro Owen always do, like a no-account Texas dude who drifted into acting
Best to regard "check out this tinyURL" tweets as if coming from the online avatar of the scraggly streetcorner guy who asks if ya got a sec
Even on mute, "That 70s Show" reruns are a delight to watch. The show was designed, directed, & acted w/ visual panache & wit. Like "Scrubs"
Roger Daltrey did guest spot on "That 70s Show"!!! Always cool to spot The Who's singer in an acting extracurricular. Tough English face.
No one retails analytic appliances, but POC-optimized sales teams support "show valu 2 U" function tht showfloors serve in retail contxts
"Solution accelerator"? A bit vaguer than "workload-optimized node" or "appliance," but better suggests biz value of repeatable solution.
"Workload-optimized nodes"? More descriptive, but "appliances" is pithier.
@kexpplaylist: The Greatest by Cat Power from The Greatest JK--A song so luxuriously beautiful.
Huh? There is only one me and I have only one employer:
Found the intranet site where
#IBM aggregates market intelligence. Quite comprehensive. Great resource.
Texas is a big state. I see the news about tornado devastation in Dallas-Fort Worth. Austin, however, had calm weather the whole time
"Flying Car 1 Step Closer 2 Delivery W/ Prototype Flight" (http://bit.ly/HedQqs) JK--Part o me sez "cool." Othr part sez "airway congestion"
"New 'Social Energy App' Compares Energy Use with Others" (http://bit.ly/HedpMO) JK--Cool decision support tool for smarter energy consumers
"Social spam: Endorsd by Viagra hawkers online gambling & GOP?" (http://bit.ly/HeaiFY) JK--Need 2 weed yr "friends" at times. Some poisonous
Why does the term "gamification," especially when appied to next-gen development practices of enterprise apps, make me nervous?
"AWS Hosts Human Genetics Catalog in Cloud" (http://bit.ly/HLCwXL) JK--Underlines importance of prohbit discrimination based on genetic code
Spam is educating younger generation to the infinite variety of scams in the world at large. Doesn't mean it truly has redeeming value, tho
Wondering, amid 433,000+
#IBM employees, if & when I'll cross paths with any of the people who did orientation with me yesterday.
3 years? You kidding. I never once had any vendor specify an embargo date more than a few weeks in the future.
Great. Please arrange this and I will be glad to come up.
Normal is not worrying whether you're normal. Nerd and hipsters often self-conscious on that matter.
Everybody works in high tech: nerds, hipsters, and even lots of normal people.
I rated "dedication to every client's success" as key business value. Without successful customers, your business will vanish. Grow 'em!
#IBM provides a staggering range of professional development programs, tools,and resources for employees.
Listening to the ancient
#IBM "Ever Onward!" recording post-lunch during orientation. Ah, the 1930s. Hail to the Victors Valiant!
As you can well imagine, I am compiling a long to-do lists to fully onboard myself at
#IBM. #IBM is quite global in operations, in personnel, and in culture. The more global a culture, the more comfortable I feel.
Why don't you think it counts? We would like your thoughts.
Duh. You have been reading my tweets, haven't you Jai?
I was a full-time industry analyst for several firms for close to 14 years. I clearly amassed brand recognition for diversity and depth.
Not yet. Watching great detailed video discussing key
#IBM inventions over past 100 years.
4 years, 3 months.
#IBM New Employee Orientation. They said no such thing as a dumb question. IMHO, "Gee duh, does IBM do something with computers?" qualifies
Morning in Austin. Learning the ins & outs of my new ThinkPad.
"Creating an Ocean: Integr Realities of Govt
#BigData Plan" (http://www.itbusinessedge.com/cm/blogs/lawson/creating-an-ocean-the-integration-realities-of-government-s-big-data-plan/?cs=50114) JK--Federating among federal agencies the key challenge
"Paul McCartney's son James on playing the Cavern Club" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17547939) JK--Dude's a dead-ringer for his old man.
Dilemma: How to tweet back something original to each "congrat" I got on joining
#IBM ? But robotic "thanks" wouldn't pass Turing test. Hmm
I announced on Friday, but it took a weekend 4 news to sink in among my extended family & friends, via socials that I've joined
I'm sitting here in central Texas. Dr. Pepper feels right.
I should note that I was not under NDA 2 any vendor on anything when I left
#Forrester. I stoppd taking briefngs 2 weeks prior 2 ensure that
Surprised how little development there is near the airport in Austin.
Good WSJ piece on predictive suggestion of next best purchase. Cites
#IBM Entity Analytics 4 r-t product data integration. Several usecases
My self-analytics are simple to-do lists scribbled on any available scrap of paper. Progress = scratching stuff off as often as I add stuff
WSJ article on analytics tools for tracking your own productivity, stress, work-life balance etc. Fine, but I pride my own gut on my own gut
Delta pilot thanks military personnel onboard for protecting & defending the Constitution. I definitely salute that.
Another spam solicitation to add 3 inches to my manhood. I've always wanted to be 5 foot 9. I'll sign up!
@aristippus303 If the analyst is not in possession of any NDA material, it's a non-issue. @CurtMonash Thanks. My decision a few years ago to channel my inner goof in my social presence was a go4broke gambit. I'm simply a wiseguy
"IETF attendees re-engineer their hotel's Wi-Fi network" (http://bit.ly/H95t1A) JK--Apparently, conventioneers had nothing else on agenda
My wife is much better at April Fools pranks than me. She puts her full enthusiastic energy into putting people on, including our kids.
Totally mellow Sunday afternoon. All windows in house open. Wife napping. Me tap-tap-tapping on my laptop keyboard. Woodpecker in distance
Cape Town. Would be ironic if all comic superheroes source their capewear from there. What ballet wardrobe pro makes their custom leotards?
@merv I'm happy to have a longer face, thanks to receding hairline. Dude as short as me needs every seeming extra inch of vertical stature.
Wife & I had a productive weekend. Cleaned house indoors yesterday. Put the deck back in spring/summer/fall mode w/tables, chairs, & plants
@NeilRaden Ray's got a full head of hair, unlike me. Wish comb-over weren't my only natural option for suggesting ear2ear fur.
Sitting here contemplating how 2 incorporate Google+ into my soc ntwk style. APRIL FOOLS! Gotcha on that, didn't I? My geeklihood has bounds
Not sure which social polarization cliche I dislike more: Blue v. Red States, or the 99 v. the 1 percent.
That new list of
#bigdata Vs made even less SENSE than the list in that previous tweet.
That new list of
#bigdata Vs made even less than the list in that previous tweet.
Once U delve into
#CRM next best action, you cant NOT WONDER what blend of predictivs & rules generate yr next grocery store receipt coupon
Maybe you will James. Go for it!
Does that signal CRG's intention NOT to cover
#BigData in any meaningful way? Have U surveyed software industry insiders? Does it resonate?
Melodies from Shins new "Port of Morrow" LP keep playing in my head subconsciously, even when I cant recall titles of songs whence they came
Disappointed that James Cameron didn't venture outside his craft & proclaim himself King of the Underworld. Forgot his Marianas Trenchcoat.
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI). Hangdog visage practiclly screams "this my real face, not caricature--OK political cartoonists--give it yr best shot"
Yoga Journal cover story: "Overwhelmed? Discover soul-soothing refuge." It's about time they acknowledge healing powers of transfatty acids!
Apocryphal long-suppressed scriptures show there was an unfairly stigmatized Pontius school of Pilates. Heavyhanded Romans stirred backlash.
My usual Sunday-morning pre-yoga routine: loitering in CVS magazine aisle while Egidia shops 4 whatevr specials were in Sunday ads. Namaste!
I have to laugh when people imagine there's a brain drain from this or that analyst firm. Endless supply of smart people to fill open slots.
I've long said my career strategy is to surround myself with the smartest people & to learn from them. Interpret my move in this context.
#IBM is a huge company with vast resources. Most important: all of these incredibly smart, experienced, expert people. I'm engaging them all
I follow pretty much anybody who's still in college & tweets about their studies, in whatever discipline. I learn from students.
Saw the phrase "chaff is the new wheat" re
#BigData. So true. Very little "junk" data if you leverage power of aggregation & mining
I'm looking forward 2 reading & commenting on all analysts' reports on more or less level playing field. I'm big fan of many former "rivals"
"Is there a NoSQL Identity Crisis?" (http://bit.ly/H6dPB9) JK--Vague catchall market category never had a clear identity from the get-go.
Looking forward to seeing Austin tomorrow & the next day. Almost went 2 grad school there ages ago. But UW-Madison offered bigger fellowship
"Fairfax County growth fueled by Asians, Hispanics" (http://bit.ly/HA2UBA) JK--Many R religious as can see frm Korean & Spanish church signs
Rolling Stones "Waiting on a Friend" (http://youtu.be/4Z9hbf-IRig) JK--Video on St. Mark's Place, East Village, Manhattan. Great stoops.
It's Fool's Eve. I suspect this is the day we fell from grace. Back in the day, inna-gadda-da-vida, when the serpent fools Eve.
@NekoCase There's no snow in that photo, which appears to be in Mongolia, not New Hampshire. @esselinj Thanks Jack! @zeynep_bao Thanks Zeynep! @jaimefitzgerald Thanks Jaime!
"A 65-year-old man who's angry is a loser." --John Waters
"I like rap music. But bragging about being rich to poor people is really offensive." --John Waters
"Do We Need World Backup Day?" (http://bit.ly/HabJ62) JK--Yes. We need to backup entire Earth biosphere to a hospitable exoplanet. Know one?
Velvet Underground "I'm Set Free" (http://youtu.be/wfzoyDOXfzY) JK--Dummy who wrote that WSJ article seemed ignorant of their folkish 3rd LP
Listening to John Mellencamp do that little ditty 'bout Jack & Diane. Where's this "heartland"? IMHO, it's anywhere between USA borders
Social graph. It's social group. It's social grapevine. And it's social gravitational field of interactions, influence, & information.
Listening to Don Henley "The Boys of Summer" on local radio. One of those songs I wish I was hearing in a car on open highway right now.
@jay_henderson Thanks Jay! @marie_wallace Thanks Marie. @rowski22 Thanks Michael! @jmsidhu Thanks Jonathan! @jennifer_dubow Thanks Jennifer.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to restrain the impulse to respond to every anomalous interaction or utterance with "surely you jest!"
@thebillp Thanks Bill, I'll be sure to.
Betcha privacy advocates will rip
#BigData 4 aggreg, mining, & targeting prowess, just as they've long done on less capacious data platforms
"Dolby sings of twists and turns in digital music" (http://bit.ly/H6CISW) JK--Also a one-hit wonder in hi-tech. Polyphonic ringtones kaput!
The only Democratic Party emails that I save are from Sen. Al Franken. Not cuz they're especially funny. But cuz he still has a great smirk
"Cher Was Not a Fan" (http://on.wsj.com/Hwycth) JK--VU book review as dumb as its title. Confuses SF w/LA. VU themselves went melodic/soft
WSJ "Dear Google User: Were Sure Y're Going 2 Love This" (http://on.wsj.com/HEdKEF) JK--LOL! Pred next best action experience optzn run amok
@CurtMonash I stand corrected. Roosters crow about their ability to make hens cackle. I should have taken notes in grade school farm tours
Last day of March. Quite lambly out there.
@jmsidhu That's what I suspected. Thanks for the confirmation.
Watched "My Week with Marilyn" on CD. Best portrayal I've ever seen of her as, it's amply attested, she really was. Sad, lonely, desperate
Have received a slew of IBM-related follow-me requests from hither and yon. Think they'll let me hire an assistant to click thru them all?
@donalddotfarmer I'll make sure IBM writes all marketing collateral in iambic pentameter. First order of business.
Listening to Camera Obscura "My Maudlin Career." Love how, with every LP, they develop their sound thrillingly. This one is Spector-thick.
Sitting here systematically re-reading all my published research, looking to see if it's riddled with errors, or simply riddled with riddles
Sitting here at Panera, cackling, me and the missus. Gotta stop mainlining their dark roast coffee. Decorum, Jimbo, decorum!
I am sure Forrester has a wide set of high-quality candidates. I am definitely not irreplaceable.
#IBM has a substantial research program. You should expect thought leadership papers, webinars, etc in which yours truly has a hand.
Phil, I will very much reconnect with you Dave and the rest of the
#TDWI. Thanks for having me speak in Vegas last month
Industry analyst work is often, for many, a bridge career. You dont start or end there. You connect, brand, and develop vision there.
The analysts I value most are those who do deep research and synthesize lots of threads. Newschool thinkers, not oldschool dinosaurs.
For the last 4+ years, I blogged original tech thoughts only under my employer's blog. I will continue that practice.
Amazing. I can already feel the electrical dust starting to rust my trapezoid thermometer taste. I thought rust was red. But it's cool blue.
Anyway, dat's a wrap on dat. People ask if I'm taking a break between the old and new. Yes, I am. It's called "this weekend."
@donalddotfarmer BTW, I'm going to remain a fairly active player in the socio/blog-o-sphere under IBM. Ain't going away! Not by a longshot.
I'll retain "aweekstweets" as a regular feature going forward. Will discontinue "stuff." Why? Shifting my social style for my new role
@EventCloudPro BTW, a great many people in many vendors have worked for this or that analyst firm at some point in careers. Commonplace @CurtMonash "Fill in"? Fill in what? @donalddotfarmer Glad you love my quirky individualism Donald. The feeling is mutual. @myontem Thanks. @jeffreyfkelly Thanks Jeff! @hortonworks Thanks! @zeynep_bao Thanks. Looking forward to it. @EventCloudPro Tried what recently? @CurtMonash Thanks Curt. Your clients cackle? What are they, a bunch of roosters?