"MRS. TAKIYYAH A’ISHAH" from "MICROSOFT PROMOTIONS BOARD" emailing "WINNING NOTIFICATION LETTER." Believable? Didn't realize she got married
ConanOBrien You can tell I'm on vacation when my tweets are particularly lame. And how come the Hulk's shirt falls off, but never his pants?
ConanOBrien For this Follow Friday, I want to recommend someone you don’t follow – that guy in the trenchcoat on the beach.
ConanOBrien You know that button in the elevator with a fireman’s hat on it? Turns out that’s NOT the button you push to order a fireman’s hat.
ConanOBrien I can't wait to try the new gigantic Starbucks size, "Trenta". Or as it's called in The Midwest, "A Medium".
ConanOBrien First there was Kermit, then Cookie Monster, and now Steven Tyler. Thanks, Jim Henson!
What's interesting is how some professional comedians stink on Twitter. Whereas others rock. I will retweet the rockers. Unfollow unfunnies
ConanOBrien If Costco is just a grocery store on steroids, then Wal-Mart is just a 7-Eleven with type 2 diabetes.
SarahKSilverman The color palate of Miami bums me out. Turquoise & salmon give me the Howard Johnson's sweats.
Cool thing about getting a deep-tissue massage. The masseuse knows this stuff from working many people. Each of us learns only from own body
Shuddering isn't much of a stress reliever, net-net. Upstroke adds stress right back, like backwash. Breathing & calming are more effective.
@VanessaAlvarez1 Cool. Send me your stuff. I'll read on Monday.
With deep-tissue massage, as w/ yoga, explanation is important as execution. Deeply aware of tissues activated, knots kneaded, lactic draind
That was, & Egidia agrees, the most intensely deep-tissue massage of our lives tonight. Ever had every above-waist muscle fiber worked?
A&Yu "Lion's Mouth": "Oooh a devil got in me, split hearts unevenly, just like Virginia, cuz a honey in ya, is a hornet on a sleeve"
Downloaded Arthur & Yu "In Camera" (2007) in its entirety. Seattle Hazlewood-ish folk-rock duo burrowed deep in my head: eg "Lion's Mouth"
Finallly got off my arse & downloaded Weekend "The End of the Affair" from iTunes. Record company stupidly left off "La Variete" CD release
@VanessaAlvarez1 I'm not at my work computer right now. Send me an email. Remind me 2 send you my keynote slides from Big Data Insights conf
I got my fill of Punxsutawney this week. Don't other Pennsylvania burgs with funny names have civic rodents who foretell the weather?
Deep tissue massage. Hurts so good. I'm a knotty boy. Wider range of motion. Deeper feel now for my pattern of muscle connection & tensions
Morcheeba back with Skye. Both Godfrey brothers hairless & bespectacled. Recorded long distance from 3 different countries. Hope warm sound
Springfield Mixing Bowl. It's been relatively unsnarled thru reengineering. Now set to become unholy mess thanks to BRAC-attack.
Reagan. I'll make my peace with him as soon as we rename my airport for far more deserving 20th century president: Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Anyway, bloodied unbowed. Analyst integrity is interpretation research facts logic process detail defense accuracy vision.
I am surprised that I can see straight thru the fuzz field of stress infecting my every tissue. A good sofa helps. And this activity.
What did I accomplish this week? Got the Wave ready to roll out. Advanced a wide range of other doc projects down to their next milestones.
Shuddering. It's the physical shaking off of stress. The world shakes you up, you shake it off. Well, at least, that's my theory.
Lord love a duck!
@BPatNetApp Yeah, well my bucket is bigger. Yours ain't worth of pitcher of warmed-over bits!
Omigosh. Even newer urban myth: Larry Ellison has invested in a time-machine startup. Tom Watson Sr. reporting zombie attack in the ether
"Internet Runs Out Of IP Addresses" (http://bit.ly/dWPY4N) JK--New urban myth: Internet supply of bits & bytes dangerously low.
Need me a weekend. Need me a strong end to the week. Need the work to weakly wane away.
Internet kill switch. That's a core urban myth in the connected virtual megalopolis in which we're all walking roadkill.
If performance on a piece of research were judged by Olympic figure skating standards, I'd like to think I just did triple Axel & dubl Lutz
Facebook friends. Fuzzy boundary btwn "I know you" "I sorta knew you" "I'd like to know U better" "I don't really know U but let's pretend"
Been confirmed as friend on Facebook by Gina Birch. We never met. But she's core of The Raincoats, great Rough Trade indie group
"Cloud-friendliest U.S. cities" (http://bit.ly/e9UgII) JK--Seattle not there? Can't believe it. Their clouds friendly in co-dependent way
Is this normal? Having every last waking second scheduled and/or blocked out + strategy for max productivity till you drop at night.
"No more IPv4 addresses" (http://bit.ly/e0L6f2) JK--We've made the IP gods angry. This is their retribution for all this social lollygagging
"If you could ask Vint Cerf anything, what would U ask?" (http://bit.ly/dYuuGo) JK--Do ya have stash of IPv4 addresses in your desk drawer?
"BMW car key prototype unlocks hotel rooms, train seats" (http://bit.ly/gBhX0Q) JK--For the insufferable arrogant master of the universe.
I'm doing the Earl Grey right now. Then I graduate to Baron Black. Followed by the Prince of PItchDarkTeaOfTheDamned. Bwa-ha-hah-hah!!!!!
Massage tonight. Wife & I. Got it through Groupon. Yes, them. Good deal. Full-body, with non-invasive acupuncture.
Today I'm drinking tea. None of the hard stuff, caffeine-wise.
"Amazon S3: 262 Billion Objects Now Stored" (http://bit.ly/eW9hLQ) JK--Maybe they should hang sign like old McDonald's "hamburgers served"
"Amazon to offer Oracle's database in the cloud" (http://bit.ly/eISCip) JK--Puzzling story. Amazon's been offering that for more than a year
@BouncingThots No such poetic thoughts this morning. Just my usual pre-work lethargy.
Listening to Audrey Assad "Ought To Be" (http://youtu.be/4AX-2dzgTUE) JK--Pretty voice and song. Thanks to my Sonya for telling me about her
And so ends tonight's too-long nostalgic video tour down YMG and Pere Ubu lane. Beddy bye!
Pere Ubu "Waiting for Mary" from "Sunday Night," with David Sanborn (?) & Debby Harry (!). I remember it (http://youtu.be/x_DXJR5PV58)
Pere Ubu. David Thomas now comes across as Tom Waits channeling Jim Gaffigan, with Nick Cave bursting out of his skull.
Pere Ubu, with David Thomas in classic form, 2 years ago in Budapest. Video: http://youtu.be/icXZ1UBuX3g
Seeing Pere Ubu live at Second Chance in Ann Arbor in February 1979 was a watershed moment in my life. Hard to explain why.
Pere Ubu "Birdies" video from "Urgh! A Music War" (http://youtu.be/9qnRzCWFgd4). David Thomas is a friggin' genius!
Young Marble Giants "Final Day" set, bizarrely but coolly, to b&w video of fan dancer (http://youtu.be/Ngl-kx5ltEw)
My day started with tongue-twister tweet about Huns (http://bit.ly/gl7D13). No idea where that came from. It was in my head when I woke.
For first time all day, I'm neither listening to music nor to any other voice. Weird thing about typing. You silently hear your own voice.
All my "next best action/offer" "recommendation engine" "agile predictive process platform" research plans intersect. Execution is key.
Here's where I get contrarian. Much as I love Alison's recordings with YMG, I prefer her post-YMG recordings. Why? She never stops changing.
Only video footage I've ever found online of Alison Statton speaking (http://youtu.be/sXT298DF5ZE)
Alison Statton & Spike Williams "Mr Morgan" from '94 msterpce "Tidal Blues." Her voice, their songs exquisite (http://youtu.be/w-vjWk4IWAc)
Marine Girls "A Place in the Sun" video from early 80s, with Tracey Thorn (http://youtu.be/0kjABf474jw). Very cool sweet British scene then.
Devine & Statton cover "Bizarre Love Triangle" from '89 cool folk LP "Prince of Wales" (http://youtu.be/BjU96ZJbPxI). Alison = Marianne F.
Weekend "Summerdays" live video from early 80s (http://youtu.be/FNLB1O4B8vQ) . Alison in lusher setting. Spike Williams on guitar behind her
Justin Bieber sitting in for Jon Stewart on tonight's Daily Show. Funny bit up front.
Young Marble Giants "Music for Evenings" video from '07. My fave "Colossal Youth" track reset 2 martial pulse (http://youtu.be/_-REVWYiopM)
@TonyBaer Yeah, but blogging bogged down on the "cognitive overhead" of having to compose semi-coherent paragraphs. Many people lazy.
Then again, some of us thrive on semi-random stimulation. Keeps us from getting too comfortable in our settled thought patterns.
Social media is bubble waiting to burst. Won't pop suddenly. Will slowly lose gas as people tire of jarring incongruity of semi-random posts
Proposal: Wait for lasting peace 2 break out somewhere. Sleuth for responsible party. Give him-her Nobel Peace Prize. Drop this annual jazz
WikiLeaks people nomintd 4 Nobel Peace Prize. Let's get this straight. Obama gets it. Anti-Obama might too. Conflict = peace. My head hurts
Super Bowl this Sunday? Ah, get it over with. Nobody cares about outcome. Everybody getting psyched for Pro Bowl. So much depends on it.
Hallelujah when radio segued to Aerosmith "Walk This Way." Imagine Run-DMC doing non-smartass Seger cover. Can't. Can ya?
Overherd Bob Seger "Rock&Roll Never Forgets." Classic Detroit dinosaur. Song suggests plodding pachyderm. Get 2 feelin weary ere song iz dun
LInkedIn is becoming a progressively better social media experience. Noticeably so.
Holy moley rock n roll-y!
"Cloudera & Quest Announce Enhanced Oracle 2 Hadoop Connector" (http://mwne.ws/g841gc) JK--When will ORCL integrate Hdp natively in Exadata?
Interviewed by Mark Brunelli of TechTarget re Oracle Financial Services Data Warehouse (http://bit.ly/hleiN9)
Boy, am I glad I'm self-documenting.
Do I have the Surfaris "Wipe Out" on my Zune? Oh yes, the "Cowabunga" collection. That's how I feel riding #Forrester Wave. Walking the nose
Did a client inquiry on BI and social techs interweaving. They're interweaving in so many places that it feels like a double-helix trend.
"Thanks for the follow." That's "you've got mail" phrase of social networking era. Expect Hollywood film with that title to come soon.
"The MIME guys: How two Internet gurus changed e-mail forever" (http://bit.ly/hiEdUU) JK--An innovation so ubiquitous ya take it 4 granted
"Fear of liability putting stranglehold on common sense" (http://tek.io/hNXgur) JK--Not "common sense" till lawyers vet it to a fare-ye-well
"Backups Are IT's Red-Headed Stepchild" (http://bit.ly/eMVWd4) JK--Never understood this phrase. Redheads are special, & many R good-looking
Social worker. Phrase has a distinctly different sense now that so many people have woven social networking into their work lives.
True: the lead guys of the Ramones were left (Joey) & right (Johnny) wing, and could barely stand each other.
Hope "King's Speech" wins best screenplay. Loved sarcasm spoken by teacher re health expert approve of smoking. "Well, then, it's official."
"Delta Sends Its 11,000 Agents 2 Charm School" (http://on.wsj.com/fotaf2) JK--Real place? Thought it only existed in Little Rascals comedies
@SethGrimes I have particular opinion on whether any nation should retain or dissolve whatever monarchical system they hold to.
I'm not British, but I probably speak for many people in hoping the Wills-Kate union is love-full and scandal-free.
Hundreds of hordes of the dreaded Huns, their herds, and horses endured horrendous drenching.
Hey vendors, remember yer core "relationship" w/ industry analyst is U being part of industry that anlyst researches & renders commentary on
Listening to Dandy Warhols "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth." One of the best choruses ever: "Heroin is so passe."
And the Tio Ciu wish a "sin cia ju ie" right back you and everybody, Lorita!
We celebrate Chinese New Year in our household. Today is New Year's Eve. Family abroad is partying. Can hear the fun over the connection.
Same principle applies in spades about falling for marketng-stoked hype around vendors, products, tech, or approaches. Be a constant critic!
People often can't listen with own ears. Too many fall for media hype about quality or importance of this or that overrated artist or song
Of course, I'm of the minority opinion that Foo Fighters as good as Nirvana and New Order beats Joy Division hands down.
White Stripes announce end of this teaming. Ok. Jack White's other bands and projects have been just as good or better.
Counter pressure with fact and logic, which are anchored to bedrock reality, rather than to your own tenuous footing on the orb's surface.
Where Internet global economy is concerned, nations, as a principle, must be "always on." Egypt violated that. Their loss, going forward.
Social business skills. Hope that's more than just gussied up "mind your manners" story. Business seldom gets conducted in "polite company"
"Google, Twitter Build Speak-to-Tweet for Egypt" (http://bit.ly/h3Yw27) JK--Why just them? I could use that too!
"Egypt restores links to Internet" (http://bit.ly/eVOJh5) JK--Apparently this "Internet" is the outside agitator causing all the trouble.
Another cust inquiry where ask guidance on choose one #EDW appliance vendor/product over another. I pull POV back 2 larger field of options
Word is that "Portlandia" with Fred Armisen & Carrie Brownstein is very funny.
IPv4 address depletion. Y2K feels like a cakewalk compared to this. Now we're all hip-deep in old cake. IPv6 migration will be painful slog.
"Google Touts Android 3.0 Holographic UI for Tablets" (http://bit.ly/dP6RAw) JK--Something tells me Hollywood will have ball with this.
"Jim, where do you find the time?" Who says I'm finding the time? The time's finding me, and I'm holding on for dear life. Like a bronco boy
"Pervasive pairs parallel development API w/ Hadoop MapReduce" (http://bit.ly/dRGmu0) JK--Another sign that Hadoop coming into cloud apps.
Everyday's Groundhog Day in the IT trade-press email newsletter biz. Same headlines/links tend to be republished for days on end, reshuffled
"Top BI trends & analytics technology predictions for 2011" (http://bit.ly/fE3hid) JK--Some airhead analyst prognostications. Ignore.
In DC, we're not getting hammered by frozen precipitation. Just light mist, essentially--and warming up. Sun predicted to appear. Hope!
Nice thing about social media is that they get U outside yer own head for a bit. Prog-rockers Yes said "don't surround yerself with yerself"
Groundhog Day equation doesn't add up. If Phil doesn't see shadow, 6 more weeks of winter--i.e., Spring always comes early: Mar 16, not 21
@JeanChatzky Fun fact: Punxsutawney Phil has cabin fever & is lonely. Shadow keeps him company.
Just another day of resisting emotional pressure. From others. I am not terribly moody. Pressure exogenous.
@BeaverTails No. Byward market outlet closed when I got there. Late in evening.
Feel better after working out. You don't "work out frustrations." You work in calm & serenity.
Well yes, of course. #Forrester analysts are truly unique exemplary individuals
My pleasure, Chris, and, no, you didn't miss anybody. You listed all the analysts who truly matter (koff koff!)
Vendor said "next best offer" not optimal term. I agree. Neither is "complex event processing" or "data warehouse." But we're stuck with 'em
Correction: Obama is technocrat. I meant Coptic Boehner.
Yes, I work the jargon of my coverage areas for all the latent expressive potential they hold in store. Why? Cliche harbors pent-up poetry.
Best an analyst can do is nail the facts to terra firma and the dimensions to the slowly or exponentially developing state of the mkt segmnt
Mubarak resigning? The saga unfolds. Autocrat or theocrat next? Coptic Obama or neo-Pharaonic imam?
What did I have for lunch today? Often, I spend less time on lunch than on the average tweet. And I think & tweet at CEP speeds.
Longtime #EDW pros often equate EDW w/ DBMS. Not the case. EDW is analytic info persistence ecosystem optimized for perf scale & governance
Our #Forrester next-best action rsch plan well-rounded. Plan separate docs on vision, best prctc, Wave, ROI, architect, & vertical use cases
Framed up my research plan for the #Forrester next-best-offer research. Case study interviews start soon. Kate L. & I will divide & conquer
Hey vendors, quit telling me yer offerings R "unique" & "first to market." Only yer marketeers & patent lawyers care, & they're paid 2 care
Humility means knowing when to bow before majesty. And knowing when to recognize pretenders and remain unbowed.
Apparently, Egypt is embalming & entombing their domestic Internet out in a virtual pyramid of doom.
@briansolis Necessity is the mother of invention. Constriction is the father of construction.
Wheat vs. chaff. Significa vs. trivia. In stream of daily news, never quite sure what is what. Better just to pan the stream, sift the sand.
"As IPv4 disappears, transition poses hazards" (http://bit.ly/eONOz6) JK--Sound you hear is IPv6 geeks everywhere saying they toldja so
"What geeky items are on your bucket list?" (http://tek.io/fdm3cx) JK--Having any geeky items on yours qualifies you as terminally dweebish.
"...help you build IRC bots" (http://tek.io/hp4fyp) JK--Quick show of tweets out there: Anybody still using IRC? Methinks it's moribund
"Universal Memory for Smarter Computing" (http://bit.ly/fqWz3k) JK--Yet another sign that memory is the new storage.
Also interviewed by Justin Kern of Information Management about that very same EMC Greenplum announcement.
Interviewed by Chris Kanaracus of IDG about the EMC Greenplum free Community Edition announcement.
Apparently, Egypt's ruler feels they can get along just fine without a modern connected economy.
RT @kexpplaylist: That's Entertainment by The Jam from Sound Affects JK--Hard-strumming caustic childhood memory song. Early 80s gem.
"Fewest Tech Layoffs in 10 Years" (http://bit.ly/eN0TCt) JK--Curb your enthusiasm. The beatings will continue until morale improves.
This was one packed day of customer inquiries. And a reporter inquiry thrown in. Plus work on research. And, oh, lunch too, jammed in there
"Oracle data modeler tool gets collaborative" (http://bit.ly/i3sKXZ) JK--Any integration of predictive modeling in this version?
I heard about touchscreen-friendly gloves. What I need are touchscreen-friendly hands: less stubby, less greasy, less nervous.
Now I know I'm getting lazy as I age. I tweeted "iconic" twice today. Either that, or I'm converting to orthodox.
"Database gurus tackle cloud challenges at MIT" (http://bit.ly/gOYOC9) JK--Focuses on NimbusDB and new DB lingo: "chorus" "atoms""coteries"
"The tortured tale of Rep. Kucinich & his olive pit" (http://wapo.st/dXlPyP) JK--Dentist Kucinich & his open-mouth policy. Too much info!
"Oracle to release finance data warehouse" (http://bit.ly/hB72qJ) JK--Not an Exadata Intelligence Warehouse edition? Why not?
"12 Advances In Medical Robotics" (http://bit.ly/e3CHUW) JK--Titanium-plated healthcare. Apparently, cost containment does not compute.
"11 Elements of Power" (http://bit.ly/iaKEHL) JK--Advanced students write dissertation on "practical megalomania made easy"!
Chocolate-covered pretzels. Great mid-afternoon snack. I highly recommend. Brain food!
RT @kexpplaylist: Take Five by Dave Brubeck from Legacy of a Legend JK--Iconic jazz song. Stands for all urbane postwar American culture.
"China Microblogs Block Chinese Word for 'Egypt'" (http://bit.ly/f9lkkK) JK--To sustain illusion that only one ancient kingdom matters.
"New Firefox Feature Blocks Behavioral Ads" (http://bit.ly/eL57Zt) JK--Ads that adapt 2 behavior sorta like eyeballs in paintings followng U
Hall & Oates. I have never bought any of their recordings. But I have never changed the station when they come on the radio.
Miller calls itself the "Champagne of Beers." Is there a "Beer of Champagnes"? Or would the French authorities come down on that toot sweet?
Reasonably warm one today. Lots of melting. Recharging the aquifers. Replenishing the Chesapeake with fresh runoff. Refreshing our heads.
SEO. Social search thru gurusphere. The one-clued analyst rules in the land of the clueless. If only my rivals were clueless I could relax.
Cialis commercial 4 E.D. medication. If they ever roll out distaff counterpart, suggest call it AskAlice & get Grace Slick 2 sing jingle.
SEO. Search expert opinions. Seek engaging observations. Strategic enterprise oraculars.
SEO. Social search. Society of gurus. To the extent you sense groupthink among analysts, we are verging on pat-a-cake. Who dishes original?
SEO. Content farms dish & re-dish pat answers. Pat-a-cake pat-a-cake faker spam, copy IP as fast as you can. Put in a dish...for serving me.
SEO. Social search. Guru societies often rely heavily on internal chats to surface answers on tough stuff. We don't dish pat answers.
Yep. Fer sher!
SEO. Analyst biz models simplify search 4 experts & answers on complex topics that don't lend self to simplistic Q&A. Social chats w/ gurus.
SEO. Will Google create Quora-like expertise referral mktplace that monetzes & compensates analyst responses? And protects our IP? Let's see
SEO. Social search. I have never queried knowledgeable friends in soc media 4 specific guidance. Others do me, tho. I refer them to paywall
SEO. For me, the optimal search result is speed to most relevant Wikipedia pages. Google not essential for that.
SEO. Spamsites direct assault on Google valuation. Keyword monetization depends on hit quality and popular perception thereof.
Reduce surgical infection. Require instrument sterilize in lockbox that only surgeon, authentic8ed by cleansed palms, is authorized 2 unlok