Rain hasn't started dripping yet. It will. Air smells heavy and rich with fresh Spring morning pollen-laden humidity.
Looking fwd 2 seeing old friend Rajiv Kohli tomorrow. I'm guest lecturer on soc med analytics in Prof Kohli Exec MBA class @ William & Mary
Carload of Buddhist monks in robes and shaved heads shopping at KMart. Don't see that every day. Thought they preferred Target.
ESPN Tebowmania ramps up from excessive to insufferable now that he's been traded to the Big Apple, thereby "validating" him to sports wags
Watching telecast of Tyra Banks show in Beijing/Forbiddn City. Her all made up Chinese & struttin regal. She's gettin into this far too much
Global optimization: how do we cultivate a world that is sustainable scalable & livable for humanity & all species extant & possible?
Let's not forget his politician brother: Mr SayMuch Doolittle.
That was one busy week. Don't know whether I'm coming or going. Wait. Can it be both?
When spam calls me a "VIP" and address as a "special offer" my way, I half-think it stands for "virus-identified patsy."
I'm not ashamed to say that "hat" (site) out of which I periodically pull a "rabbit" (clue) on customer inquiries is a thing called "Google"
On inquiry, customer asked where they can find data mgt & analytic consulting expertise for project. I pointed them to a local
"MythBusters Tour ......" (http://tek.io/GIspDd) JK--Men act dumber if women present? I can't & won't believe that till I hear it from Kari
Wanna see "Mythbusters" do something with
#BigData. Jamie & Adam hurl huge gobs of high-velocity data at problems, see if brilliance emerges
Gadgets (and lack thereof). That's key Facebook vulnerability in competitive wars. The palm of your hand, not FB per se, is your new world
"Facebook reportedly buys IBM patents" (http://bit.ly/GIiIBI) JK--Big Blue certainly has rich IP trove. I bet Apple uses its wad 2 buy some
@loserboy says new Dandy Warhols LP due out in late April. Can't wait. Love all theirs.
I love the word "malodorous." It's verbal equivalent of sealing the stinky thing in airtight package & holding it at armslength with tongs.
The term "Twitterverse" seems as quaint now as "blogosphere." How about "socioplex"? Nah. Sounds like a social disease.
RIP Murray Lender. Gentiles like me didnt encounter bagels in supermarket until the 70s. He had a hand in popularizing one of my fave snacks
Lovely Spring morning. 60-ish. Gentle light. Calm with a refreshing hint of a breeze. This is the Spring morning I remember from childhood.
Hmmm....what new acronyms will I coin today?....oh.....AICT (acronyms I coin today).....brilliant!
Richard Thompson's comic strip "Cul De Sac" has gotten sharper lately as he has simplified his drawing style. Closer to the "Peanuts" model.
"Behind Detroit’s Notorious Ruins" (http://bit.ly/GGVDxJ) JK--As suburban Livonia boy, I always found Motor City's architecture fascinating
Pinterest VS. Stumbleupon - For Page Views http://goo.gl/b4x19
Hey commercial tweeters, don't directly ask us to help you "share our message" with the world. Would you market us gratis? I didn't think so
I'm think I'm going to start "protecting" my tweets. Heaven forbid people might think I want them to actually be viewed by anyone.
Nissan bringing back Datsun. Back when I was a young'un, I thought that was a Japanese cousin of those cute dachshunds.
Chubby Checker "Limbo Rock" (http://youtu.be/9jkowBtwnHM) JK--Jim be limber, Jim be quick, Jim trying 2 rock this limbo. Can't go much lower
"Indie darlings." Doesn't that phrase sound like the hip-quotient kiss of death?
"Accellos Announces Cloud-Based Warehouse Management System" (http://bit.ly/GH7vFn) JK--Reason I read such articles is "just because."
Often get misdirected warehousing inqs. They'll converge w/data warehousing inqs when pigs fly or forklifts stack containerized OLAP cubes
"Will Megaupload's 28 petabytes o data be deleted?" (http://bit.ly/GI8WUD) JK--Or deflected into asteroid belt, so we're out of harm's way?
Companies reportedly asking job candidates for FB usernames & passwords. Caution candidates: dont give em your childhood secret decoder ring
Somebody tweeted "SJ." I thought "huh?" I know it stands 4 "Society of Jesus" (ie, Jesuits). Think he meant the late Steve Jobs (& acolytes)
Spammers need 2 tweak subject lines. They scream "DATE WOMEN 50+". Betcha buncha dudes'd respond to "DATE 50+ WOMEN." I'm married/53, BTW
Interviewed (via email) by Brian Bloom of IT World Canada re open-source approaches in data/analytics. Reminds me: write blog on that
Etch-A-Sketch metaphor. Does that mean Mitt gets even more expressionless when shaken & his visage even more rectilinear when composes self?
Google BigQuery (http://bit.ly/GGA5Vv) for more info or to request access/participation.
"11 promising enterprise social nets" (http://bit.ly/GGyTSi) JK--Remember back in the day when we calld this stuff "groupware"? Damn I'm old
"IBM Security Platform Combines Analytics with Big Data Feeds" (http://bit.ly/GPngXY) JK--QRadar 4 real-time security monitor of many feeds
"Oracle: Hardware biz decelerates, cloud combat coming into view" (http://zd.net/GGTZuF) JK--Oracle stuck Sun hw where profits dont shine
"IBM, Big Data, and its analytics solutions" (http://bit.ly/GGT7q0) JK--I heard fair amount of Watson update earlier this week. Expect more
"DARPA Wants Yr 'Cognitive Footprint' " (http://bit.ly/GGb7BU) JK--It's a govt plot. They want yr brain pickled in jar. Call Scully & Mulder
Shamnesia: convenient forgetting.
"EMC buys app development management firm Pivotal Labs" (http://bit.ly/GPMtQo) JK--A developer of its Chorus collab data-science dev platfrm
"HP confirms merger of PC, printer businesses" (http://bit.ly/GPM40v) JK--Just as people are weaning themselves off PCs & paper.
When I see "American Idol," I can't help think of The Who "We're Not Gonna Take It" (http://youtu.be/sKDO19Y0KWg)
Name a single original song that was ever introduced and/or popularized on "American Idol." Can't, can you? Music isn't the point.
Read that "Shoeless" Joe Jackson got that nickname cuz he played in stocking feet in 1 game, due 2 painful shoes. His later pain more severe
More likely 2 friend a complete stranger on LinkedIn than other socials. Cuz I've already amassed critical mass of complete strangers there
"Could HP Reorg Spur Oracle to Make Historic Takeover Bid?" (http://onforb.es/GDPn9e) JK--Lotsa good cherrypickings at HP. Ellison knows.
Just received tech news release in which every word is redlined. At least they recognize that entire thing is fluff. I coulda told 'em that
@MikeGotta No, it's right on the money. "American Idol" is of a piece with "reality shows" that are nothing but shallow shameless fools
Every day, in every way, trying to expand the range of topics in which I'm dangerous.
Ever notice how Oracle is only large tech vendor that routinely criticizes other large competitors, and from CEO level? What's up with that?
"American Idol" has never been my cup of tea. I prefer original material performed by the composers, not oversung covers by publicity whores
Thao + The Get Down Stay Down "Know Better Learn Faster" (http://youtu.be/DydELvXu10c) JK--Viet-American frm Falls Church VA. Asian flavor.
Tin Huey "Chinese Circus" (http://youtu.be/-Rd637SDxAI) JK--Antic/manic slice of lunacy shows them kindred to Devo, Pere Ubu, & Monty Python
Tin Huey "Robert Takes the Road to Lieber Nawash" (http://youtu.be/JERi3z5LtHs) JK--My fave of their early 45s. Very Beefheart-y/Waits-y
Keith Richards & I have same impressios of Allen Ginsberg: "pretentious...gasbag pontificating on everything..playing concertina badly..omm"
Online digital publishers. That's what analyst firms are, in part. But we don't necessarily dynamic reassemble & deliver micro-content
Analytic offload. Think of
#BigData as massively parallel menagerie of workload-optimized nodes that offload & accelerate data analytic jobs
Meg Whitman might as well get
#HP into oil business. Theyve already made bundle from gushers of black gold. Printer ink, with us over barrel
Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" (http://youtu.be/eLhpHjmxNw8) JK--As he grows old & grumpy, expect Lenny to suggest the highway.
Alanis Morissette "Ironic" (http://youtu.be/Jne9t8sHpUc) JK--Black fly in your Chardonnay isn't ironic. It's gross. Or delicacy. All depends
Listening to The Shins "Port of Morrow" LP in track order, as set by the band, not the shuffle that my Zune insists on. Shins-order is best
I've been told that Men's Health mag reports that Ashton Kutcher is doing
#BigData. Has the elephant jumped the shark?
Let's see. Rick Santorum. He appeals to the many Roman Catholics who didn't squirm in those uncomfortable wooden pews. So many of us
Is it not Friday yet?
Surgically replacing "MPP EDW" with "
#BigData " in everything I write/say from now on. Just cuz always need new ways to say same old things
Joe South "Games People Play" (http://youtu.be/PojXf-spKKM) JK--Could be theme song of gamification era, both on upswing & if all goes south
Fun fact: friends who engage me on the right topic at the right time know that I'm fluent in French. I'm constantly pardoning my French.
Lemme see. How many clever elephant puns, analogies, metaphors, & figures of speech can I spin around
Being agile of mind also means being bold &, on some level, not caring whether others think you're out of yer mind. Out of box = out of mind
Pere Ubu "Goodbye" (http://youtu.be/WH5GaL6Szkc) JK--One of the highlights of 1979's "New Picnic Time." David can do deep & soulful.
"Obama campaign sez [De Niro] ‘white first lady’ joke ‘inappropriate" (http://bit.ly/GBaufi) JK--BTW white actor has had 2 wives, both black
My overseas analyst friend complimented me on my agile cogitation. Like him, I pride self on being a synthesist. Old, new, bluesky, whatever
Pleasant call from an overseas friend.
I would abbreviate
#BigData down to "BD," but that's a beloved Doonesbury character & I don't want to hog any piece of Garry Trudeau's glory
"My Bonnie lies over the ocean"? Did Bonnie switch to truth-telling when the plane arrived over the airspace of the next continent?
To summarize my morning of customer inquiries: what are leading
#BigData analytics development tools 4 marketing & experience optimization?
Apple is the US company with the highest stock-market valuation right now. Hence, vulnerable to the bubble that gadget-mania building toward
Amelia Earhart back in the news. I've often thought "Amelia Airhead" would be great name for cartoon character.
A lot of people in the industry have told me they found my
#Hadoop Wave quite useful, and I don't think that's lip service.
"Mitt Romney holds Google+ Hangout" (http://bit.ly/GD6MUT) JK--Perfect social for ensuring nobody wants to hang out with you.
It's important to tell people when you're busy, and how busy you are. But it's also important to not default-assert you're busier than them.
"We're All Overworked" (http://bit.ly/GH1nM1) JK--People who claim to be busier than you are often simply self-centered uncooperative jerks
Late night TV is more to my liking these days. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel. We Jimmys are taking over, kicking comedic tail after hours.
"Alpine Illuminator Integr8s w/ EMC Greenplum Chorus, The Social Data Science Platf" (http://mwne.ws/GHwd4P) JK--Powerful productivty combo
First listen-thru of Shins' new "Port of Morrow": excellent, tuneful & well-crafted songs, like always, with bright vocal harmonies
Cuz heaven knows I've designated myself de facto
#KEXP brand ambassador on Twitter.
On panel I suggested 2
#NPR Sondra Russell that they dub me Twtr brand ambassador 4 music podcasts, comp me Tiny Desk Concert in-person pass
Very much enjoyed participating Online Publishers Assn panel in NYC yesterday w/tech people from NPR, Thomson Reuters, & Edmunds.
Morning's first order of post-biztrip business: download Shins new LP, "Port of Morrow." I've been leaving credits in iTunes 4 this purpose
Update: famous Washington Post reporter consuming healthy-looking salad. Stop the presses!
Famous person alert: Bob Woodward of Watergate fame 2 stools over a LaGuardia snackbar. He's having the white wine.
@IBMbigdata: "Yottabyte is 1 followed by 24 zeros. Not sure how "Yoda-byte" is written" JK--1 muppet followed by 24 StarWars nerds
"HP Labs investigates using cow manure to power data centres" (http://bit.ly/GCOpfT) JK--Recycle it from executive suite. Renewable resource
First day of Spring. Fresh hardy urban weeds are sprouting in the cracks in Manhattan pavement.
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. " JK--Well duh no cuz it's pump, not reservoir. Where'd U get yr MD?
No. Being one of "the 99 percent" does not mean you're in the 99th percentile of net worth. Let's take this from the top.....
Walked from 42nd up 5th over 49th down Park back to Grand Central. Midtown literally has a Starbucks every other block.
Getting ready for
#IBM Smarter Analytics event at Grand Hyatt. By "getting ready," I mean "bumped into Mychelle Mollot coming off elevator"
Midtown Manhattan, crack of dawn. Nice to get out and walk around for some "air." Yeah, I know it's all fumes. But, ah, fresh fumes!!!!
Cannot believe Google would send out email announcing shutoff of Google Wave in which, in subject line, it calls defunct svc "Google Wage"
Jeff Foxworthy "U Might Be a Redneck if..." (http://youtu.be/_WAQGDa9pJ8) JK--If yr smartphone is so big U gotta mount it in your gun rack..
Has Google modified its motto to reflect business realities? Is it now OK with being the lesser of two evils?
#IBM smarter analytics event in the morning before my OPA tech board speech. Two events, one day. New York: it's a helluva town!
"Does supersonic travel have a future?" (http://smrt.io/GzHbsF) JK--MIT aeronautics prof proposes new generation of biplanes.
"Apple Confirms Cash Details - Will Spend $45 Billion Over Three Years" (http://bit.ly/GzGTlD) JK--Wisely?
Second thing I do on overnight biz trips is repack my bags promptly, laying out everything to dress & run out the door next morning.
Took new tack when I checked into this hotel room. First, I familiarized w/all bathroom fixtures & TV controls & arranged place to my prefs
Speaking tomorrow to the Online Publishers Association Technical Committee on apps of
#BigData. Time-Life Bldg. @metabrown312 A bit of me educating them so that they could put themselves closer to taking action.
Watching a Bill Maher show with conservatives arguing effectively and Maher respectfully letting them speak & not interrupting.
Americans have to get over notion it's any stranger for Will Ferrell to do a movie in Spanish than Gael Garcia Bernal in English.
Free copy of New York Post? Wowee. I enjoy being spoonfed the informational equivalent of Dippin' Dots. Aimed at doddering dips.
I suspect George Romney dubbed his eldest "Mitt" to honor Michigan's Lower Peninsula. We 'ganders brainwashed the Mormon auto exec damn good
@metabrown312 They were totally shocked, flabbergasted, & gobsmacked by the sheer idiocy of my definition. No, actually, they agreed.
The one thing I use AOL Instant Messenger's client for is to test whether I'm getting bandwidth. Was it designed for something else?
Best to eat fastfood standing up. Gravity helps you metabolize grease, according to a leading industry analyst. Not saying which industry.
Amazing how often the slapped-together clues hit the bullseye.
I'm the friend of every desperate biz/tech reporter. I know what it's like 2 scrounge a clue or two in a totally ad-hoc duel with a deadline
Interviewed by Jeremy Quittner of American Banker re upcoming in-memory analytics client announcement
Thank you aweekstweets for saving my analytical tail & helping me quickly find something I mentioned ages ago. Late February.
Losing my edge. Only being mentioned today by Twitter spambots. Who fail to appreciate my wit & nuance
The Gist "Clean Bridges" (http://youtu.be/TzFJLjJJJ5k) JK--Gist and bottom line is to always keep bridges clean, obstruction-free, & 2-way
My older bro & his wife now doing yoga, as are me & mine. Helps us control naturally nervous system that comes with being a Kobielus
Ah yes, defoliating a victory garden sure works up an appetite! Oh...caught myself in another Firesign Theatre catchphrase.
Love "Always See Your Face" (http://youtu.be/OkWVrLfiJKs) JK--Late 60s artist was left history by turn of 70s. But left beautiful impression
13th Floor Elevators "You're Gonna Miss Me" (http://youtu.be/0OytJYBfwUk) JK--Hey Roky don't flatter yrself. U were forgotten by turn of 70s
Best to give yr wealth away while you're still breathing & of sound mind. Watch others pick your bones. Gauge how much they'll truly miss U
"Data silos in big data analytics: Now you see them, now you don't?" (http://bit.ly/FPEi6E) JK--Collapse 'em through EDW best practices
A lazy industry analyst is one who simply comments on vendor actions, announcmts releases etc. First & foremost, gotta have user-centric POV
"Is Google Facing the Beginning of the End?" (http://bit.ly/xipOO4) JK--Philosophical hairsplitting. Conception is beginning of the end.
"The Day Print Died" (http://bit.ly/FRXdNE) JK--Premature obituary. My printers die every few years. But my paper appetite is insatiable.
Can't stand those energy drinks. They don't actually give me energy. What they do is turn my stomach & make me drink more water. As I should
I was out of the office all last week. I didn't realize how many emails can pile up when I'm actually doing work.
"Futurist." Yeah, that's the ticket. Try to convince people that my cranium is just a crystal ball covered with hair. I'm crystal balding.
Apple & their humongous cash pile. Company long noteworthy for organic internal R&D. Not a big acquirer, as tech vendors go.
When people say "Beatlesque," they mean "McCartneyesque." Early Elvis Costello with his acid wit was Beatlesque, in sense he was Lennonesque
Life is flow. Just scoop your hands and grab what you can as the river rushes by you.
Another early morning customer inquiry where they want me to summarize trends in analytics before my first sip of caffeine.
Politicians often speak of deadwood bureaucrats. BTW, have you ever noticed how many deadwood politicians there are?
Somehow I doubt that one of my fave
#KEXP DJs cares whether peeps are posting terrible things about me. As she knows, only the music matters
Rightwing chastises "Hollywood liberals" most vehemently when leftwing actors getting more press than the 10 zillion Hollywood conservatives
VH-1. "Mob Wives" are cooking & scowling. Should outsource the cooking 2 Giada so that they can focus on the scowling, which they do so well
Doing quick NYC trip on Tues: vendor event in a.m., speech elsewhere in afternoon. I like the occasional in-out.
Anchorage had a snowier winter than usual. The contiguous US had a mild one. North America's a big place.
Among chefs on Food Network, Giada is the most expressive on mute. Very Italian use of face & hands. And she's stunning to boot.
Partied with Egidia and her teacher colleagues again last night. Pleasure to not have to talk or think my own biz socially.
I consult MapQuest far less now that we got GPS. I do in fact trust TomTom well enough & don't sweat its occasional hiccups.
In my career, I have watched every hot new tech I've covered progress along the maturity curve toward boring oldschool plumbing. Worlds turn
Still not doing TV that's streaming, social, on-demand, or interactive, and still not feeling like I'm missing anything special.
Where might ye be going with that sack of potatoes?
The snakes that Padraig ostensibly drove out of Eire. Payback for the Garden of Eden brouhaha? First wave of the Irish diaspora? Blarney?
Expect commercial signage to become so visual, dynamic, real-time, & interactive that you'll wish it'll shut up & stop trying so hard.
Expect social media intelligence dasboards to become so throughly embedded in commercial signage that you'll stop paying attention.
#BigData social intelligence listening, filtering, & storage to become so commoditized that most companies will outsource it.
Expect vendors to promote
#BigData IDEs as key tools for building, deploying, & optimizing models, functs, & apps across diverse appliances
Expect exasper8d customers 2 throw up their hands & scream at
#BigData vdrs 2 clarify & distinguish use cases 4 this menagerie of appliances