My #IBM blogpost tomorrow brings concept of "Turing Machine" into the discussion of multichannel CRM experience. Look for it.
Saw "Young Adult" on DVD. Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt, & Patrick Wilson all put in great performances. Written by Diablo Cody ("Juno").
Surprised they didn't shut down Patent Office when sliced bread invented. Milestone o technological achievement that's never been surpassed
Good. People are still following my fresh stuff. They know this "dark side" stuff is baloney.
My back yard in summer. http://instagr.am/p/MO735gg3WS/
Nate Mamman @altN8sUniverse Alan Turing:Mathematician, Logician, Computer Scientist, and ultimate badass. June 23, 1912-June 7, 1954. #AlanTuring #HappyBirthday #100th
Alyssa Milano @Alyssa_Milano The Filthiest Joke Ever Hidden in a Children's Movie: http://bit.ly/LsIPT0 /via @cracked
On the so-called "App Internet," my fave app remains this thing called a "browser."
Schumpeterian creative destruction is cool, unless you creatively destroy my livelihood.
"How Much Data Is Created Every Minute?" (http://buff.ly/KYS2yi) JK--Infographic resembles radiant Sun. Data radiates continuously.
20 years ago it was "designer" this & "designer" that. Now it's "artisanal" this & "artisanal" that.
I've never heard of anybody scheduling a 3-week laryngitis. Or claiming that doesn't point to a deeper health problem.
Rousing rounds of Rummikub & Triominoes with Egidia, Sonya, & Dylan at home. I lost them all. I suck.
And I'll shave my head, grow odd facial hair, and don a beret.
@IBMbigdata Thanks. We bust myths, but don't have as much geeky fun doing it as the Discovery Channel people.
Father John Misty--aka Joshua Tillman--has produced an exceptionally bright, inventive country LP. Shades of Lyle Lovett.
Love my cargo pants. Plenty of front-of-leg pockets. Can sit & not have my wallet & keys gouge my ass.
@BrianG_Jasper My pleasure Brian. I remember our Starbucks chat on Duke Street ages ago, when we were in different places in our careers
Ah summer! When more than half the emails in your inbox are people's on-vacation out-of-office messages.
"A Canopy of Man-Made Solar-Powered Supertrees Flourishes in Singapore" (http://bit.ly/MphmxA) JK--Beautiful, functional, sustainable, green
@rickasaurus Predicting orbit of what?
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Yeah, C'mon by Turing Machine from What Is The Meaning Of What JK--Tomorrow is 100th birthday of late Alan Turing
@0_h_r_1 The view is fine. #IBM is the premier #BigData analytics platform, tool, and solution vendor. Glad to be evangelizing.
Estimating the volume of data in the whole wide world is a bit like as estimating the mass of the Sun. Interesting useless stat.
@0_h_r_1 How's life on the other side of what? I'm still in the same space as before. Different vantage.
As we digitize the genome, will we start referring to DNA as "primordial metadata"?
"Skyfoundry & Streetlight Data Win #IBM Smartcamp" (http://ibm.co/LGJ9c8) JK--#BigData deliv value 2 infr mgrs & retailers, respectively
"Return o hardware era, or learning from Apple" (http://cnet.co/L0913j) JK--Short-term, profit-thin. Long-term, platform 4 hi-mrgn sw & svcs
RT @Vivisimo_Inc: "@IBMNetezza: Speeds & Feeds: @jameskobielus on #datawarehouse POCs & proving TCO (http://on.fb.me/MChiJb) #edw"
"#IBM Study: The State of Marketing Hinges on the Relationship Between CMO and CIO" (http://bit.ly/L07lXB) JK--Based on 1,700 interviews
"#Hadoop 2.0: More than MapReduce" (http://bit.ly/L05KB3) JK--Good overview of some key announcements at recent #HadoopSummit
RT @ConanOBrien: My wife can always tell I'm lying because I break down in tears and scream, "I'm lying!"
Have 2 #IBM blogs coming out early next week: next in my "next best action" & "weeksworth" threads. Plus 5 FB quick-hits. Already wrote all
@henrycccook I like to think in terms of "questions" & "quests." Former is usually close-ended: Q&A. Latter is open-ended: As suggest Qs etc
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Deeper Water by Public Image Ltd. from This Is PiL JK--Lydon's aged into "eminence grise". Snotnose punks have future
@Brett2point0 #BIWisdom Wait a sec. Predictive analytic models pose known questions: are these customers likely to churn, buy, etc.
@ryanprociuk Analytics is overall category for all approaches 2 extract useful intel from raw data, including rptg. Make insight manifest
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp I Heard Your Voice in Dresden by Elvis Perkins in Dearland JK--Song makes you feel like marching under Elvis banner
"Wha-hoppen 2 Turing's thinking machines?" (http://zd.net/KRJfD7) JK--Theyre everywhere but havent gotten smart enough 2 make fun of us yet
"Supreme Court sides w/ broadcasters on cussing, nudity" (http://bit.ly/MdNdTt) JK--Fleeting shit/fuck excusable but fleeting bare butt bad
"To SQL or to NoSQL: the database dilemma" (http://bit.ly/MdM5iu) JK--Not either/or. Real dilemma is "which QL(s)?" to use: SQL, HiveQL, etc
Today's #IBM #Netezza FB JK quick-hit: "Big data's optimal deployment model?" (http://on.fb.me/NrCEgY)
New #IBM JK blogpost: "More Big Data Mythbusting" (http://bit.ly/NrBQZr)
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Birth, School, Work, Death by The Godfathers JK--All's a grind, dude. Dig the grind. It's your fate.
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp School's Out by Alice Cooper frm R&R Highschool JK--Mr Rice was cool jr hi teacher. Let us play this last day o class
New #IBM JK blogpost: "Response: Top 5 Myths about Big Data" (http://bit.ly/KYVZDd)
WSJ article about those disgusting fish flies sticking to everything in the Gross Pointes & St Clair Shores. Glad we moved to the west side
Funny that Starbucks has store locator on their website. How can you NOT LOCATE a Starbucks? Look to your left, your right, in front, behind
Have bought & downloaded Father John Misty's LP "Fear Fun." Totally digging it.
Twitter down this morning between 9:30 & 11? Coulda fooled me. I tweeted successfully a dozen times during that period
LET'S ALL TWEET ONLY IN UPPERCASE FOR A DAY & SEE IF SOCIAL SENTIMENT SPIKES ANGRY. ALLCAPS IS THE HOLLERING TENSE!!!!!
Gamification. Let's add 2 consonants to call out what it truly is: gamblification.
Online influence. I prefer 2 think o it as "impression," in "page impression" sense. Doesnt mean U're impressing anybody, in "suasion" sense
"Music's Impact on Learning" (http://www.onlinecolleges.net/2012/06/20/music-learning/) JK--It's always been fundamental for me.
How many tiers are optimal 4 #BigData architectures? One? Two? Three? Caveat: more tiers = more tears. Complexities pile up costs, headaches
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Well, You Can Do It Without Me by Father John Misty from Fear Fun JK--Gonna buy this LP tonight. So awesome!
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Mary's Little Lamb by Otis Redding frm Definitive Otis Redding JK--Astonishingly cool R&B adaptation of nursery rhyme
Check out my inline response to Jen Cohen blog "#BigData Myths..BUSTED" at http://bit.ly/MgThJn
Here's a better link to my comment on @BrianG_Jasper "Top 5 Myths About #BigData" blog: http://on.mash.to/MlR1TK
Catch my detailed response to @BrianG_Jasper "Top 5 Myths about #BigData" on Mashable, here: http://on.mash.to/MlQDVp
@freebalance Gilligan resigned himself only to the fact that Ginger & Mary Ann were totally out of his league.
@DavidLaird22 Cool paper (http://bit.ly/MCi8Wg). And true. Sort of PT Barnum principle: egregious spam spurs egregious suckers 2 self-select
Today's #IBM #Netezza FB JK quick-hit: "POC as core appliance acq approach? TCO tough to demonstrate, but possible" (http://on.fb.me/MChiJb)
Hey @loserboy , Bananarama primarily vocal harmony group (e.g., Four Seasons). Bangles were a rock band that vocalized well (e.g., Beatles)
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Ruin by Cat Power from Sun JK--Due out in September. A layered rock sound with her grainy sultry insistent voice
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Age o Consent by New Order frm Powr Corruptn & Lies JK--"Youre not th one tht needs 2 tell me about the birds & bees"
"Swype’s new “living keyboard” doesnt just predict: It learns" (http://bit.ly/Nnbmsh) JK--Does it hav feelings? Get angry when U bang on it?
"Long live SOA in cloud era" (http://bit.ly/Nn62VG) JK--I thought it was dead. Don't tell me it's come back as a zombie. Head for the hills!
"Ellison 2 buy Hawaiian island" (http://bit.ly/Nn5izU) JK--Awaits zoning approve 2 install lagoon + animatronic "Gilligan's Island" charctrs
I love the spam where sender identifies himself as "Col. [so-and-so]." I didn't realize I'd been called up to active duty. I salute thee!
I like all of my Internet client form factors: laptop, tablet, smartphone, desktop, media player, social TV. Each has diff role in my habits
Actually, I disagree w/ @gcolony . I like Facebook app for Android. It's my preferred way of using the service on my tablet & smartphone.
"Forrester CEO: Facebook is toast " (http://bit.ly/Nn23IB) JK--Really? Perhaps hook up w/Jamcracker. Yum! Cites mobile app deficiencies
Tech press should tag stories for "page-impression-intensive-sequential-load-time-wasting" factor. Please give me one page with all content
Everybody's imagining that PC market will just up & die. Like they've been prophesying death of the mainframe for as long as I can remember
"Turing Machine brought to life with Lego" (http://bit.ly/PzSZzP) JK--Actually, Turing envisioned machine made of chopsticks & Lincoln Logs
RIP Andrew Sarris. His "auteur theory," investing film "authorship" in director, spawned many a dorm-room debate re Kubrick, Scorsese, etc
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder frm Into the Wild JK--Eddie, U weatherman these days? That's today forecast 4 ths Washington
Tendency in IT press to call something "NoSQL" DBMS when they're almost always referring to key-value store. Then just say "key-value store"
"#IBM Leads Social Business Software Market" (http://bit.ly/PzMHjC) JK--Per IDC. 3rd straight year. IBM Connections. We use it internally
I'm a-gonna run my Windows XP desktop till it don't run no more. A good robust time-proven piece of engineering is a thing to venerate.
Any spammer who requests your "urgent help" is urgently in need of a brain. Email is what people check last now.
High today will be 100. I will lie low. Subterranean. In my basement office. The coolest place in the house in summer. Needs no A/C.
Remember the original Microsoft Surface prototype form factor in 2008? Table with touchscreen reminded of ancient Ms Pac-Man barroom games.
Good night chillin @ home w/visiting friends Eddy & Sylvia. If I'd known they now reside in San Jose, I'd've chilled @ their place last week
Turing test o multichann engagement: continuous orchestr8 convos across all touchpoints 2 appear 2 embody single human-feeling brand persona
"#IBM ... Speeds Access to #BigData through Mobile Devices" (http://ibm.co/MFKvGP) JK--IBM Content Navigator w/ Ent Srch & #Hadoop integr8n
"#IBM Launches New Class o Analytics Sw 2 Improve Decis Making" (http://ibm.co/MFK6UF) JK--Real-time Analytical Decision Mgt integ w/Streams
Drafted my next #IBM blog: "Next Best Action in Multichannel Conversations." In honor of the late Alan Turing's 100 birthday (this Saturday)
Tinker to Evers to Chance. Is tinkering ever left to chance? It should be. That the serendipitous creativity part of the invention process.
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Every Day Should Be a Holiday by Dandy Warhols frm Ddy Wrhls Come Down JK--It's instant holiday every time this plays
"Data Analytics: The New Must-Have Skill for Managers" (http://bit.ly/Mxkcik) JK--Cites recent #IBMDataChat
Today's #IBM #Netezza FB JK quick-hit: "Crowdsourcing Big Data creativity? The social side of data science" (http://on.fb.me/LBtA70)
First day of summer. Heat and humidity make it just another in a multi-month period of drowsy restless slumber.
RT @TheOnion: Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day http://onion.com/MfKOGc
"Should Twitter have built-in correction button?" (http://bit.ly/LBgIxL) JK--Self-correcting, I delete tweet & crosspost in FB, then retweet
Be a part of the benchmarks that will define the #bigdata era. Take a 10-min #ibmibv survey: http://bit.ly/Kjd48F
What big business challenges do you want #bigdata to tackle most? Share your thoughts with #ibmibv. http://bit.ly/Kjd48F
How much are you really doing with #bigdata? What biggest opportunities are ahead? Tell us! Take the #ibmibv survey at http://bit.ly/Kjd48F
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp All Tomorrow's Parties by The Velvet Underground from The Velvet Underground & Nico JK--Nico exuded gravitas.
As I said @ #HadoopSummit, the "Vs" are coord sys 4 measure #BigData scale in 3 dimensions. String theory'll find othr Vs curled up in these
@0_h_r_1 "Oxymoron" isn't the right term. That means juxta of contradictory terms. #BigData is a threshold that keeps rising.
You don't like #BigData as a buzzword? You propose going back to "VLDB"? See how that flies in marketing literature.
@MCanalytics No problem. Thanks for promoting my work.
@MCanalytics That one's 9 months old. And my name is misspelled in the landing page.
Email tech newsletters I've been receiving for more than a decade, on techs that are no longer in my main radar screen. Keep or unsubscribe?
Re the UVa brouhaha, my only comment is "Oh dear, what would Mr. Jefferson say?"
Kirsty MacColl "England 2, Colombia 0" (http://youtu.be/Q7vsoVR5NX4) JK--2000. Year she died. From her gr8 last LP "Tropical Brainstorm"
Kirsty MacColl "There's a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis" (http://youtu.be/QccPUSTMriM) JK--She also did gr8 country version
Kirsty MacColl "A New England" (http://youtu.be/T4c2kO5ZE38) JK--Her cover is just as great as Billy Bragg's original.
Kirsty MacColl "Miss Otis Regrets" (http://youtu.be/N4sZUfQ97po) JK--1991. Jools Holland show. She was a tough, smart, soulful lassie.
Kirsty MacColl "Belle of Belfast City" (http://youtu.be/ZZMjDfTeoQw) JK--I'd never heard this till this moment. Her voice worked well Irish
Peter Sellers Interview on Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, some time in late 50s or early 60s (http://youtu.be/3MadLqtoEQQ)
RT @Laughbook: My therapist says I have an obsession with revenge. We'll see about that.
Sipping my Riesling. Looking at the weather forecasts of close to 100 degrees the next few days. Will stay indoors. Work. Like always.
Big shout-out 2 @jasonkobielus 4 lining up his debut LA live-theatre directorial effort (http://on.fb.me/LxHpGV). No relation. I lie. Go J!
In honor of the late Alan Turing's 100th birthday (this coming Saturday), I point you back to my poem "Pixel" (http://bit.ly/gog75X)
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Daft Punk Is Playing at My House by LCD Soundsystem JK--Aint nuthin. Steampunk playing Willy Wonka calliope @ my haus
You hear of people doing everything else in boot camp than learn how to make boots. Why is that? Is this actually German "Das Boot" kamp?
Anytime anybody on socials addresses me as "yo," I assume it's spam. Unless it's Spanish and they're talking about themselves. Narcissist!
Testing HootSuite...this is just a test.
Today's #IBM #Netezza FB JK quick-hit: "'Hadoop uber-alles? BI starting to ride the elephant.'" (http://on.fb.me/MskNS9)
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Crazy by Willie Nelson from Songs JK--1961. Original by the songwriter himself. A good kind of loco.
Inflammatory panelists (http://bit.ly/MsiiiU) seem to exemplify "loco" in this "social-location" conference's title (http://bit.ly/erFSLI)
"#BigData and your network" (http://bit.ly/MKqFqw) JK--WAN performance ramifications from #Hadoop architecture design options.
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Birthday by The Sugarcubes from Birthday JK--Bjork's guttural yowl is, by turns, earthy & otherworldly
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp All I Need by Air from Moon Safari JK--Silky song will relax you and space you right out. Almost as good as yoga.
My praise @baratunde for one of the best Twitter profile lines anywhere: "My tweets represent your employer's opinion."
How much are you really doing with #bigdata? What biggest opportunities are ahead? Tell us! Take the #ibmibv survey at http://bit.ly/Kjd48F
LIke many an aging dog, I pride myself now on my ability to learn new tricks.
"#BigData Security: The Balance Is Shifting in Favor of IT" (http://bit.ly/KhLlWs) JK--Performance overhead for AES encryption "near zero."
"Making #Hadoop safe for 'clusterophobics' " (http://bit.ly/KhKYvd) JK--Excellent discussion of Hadoop consumability by Ovum's @TonyBaer
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Pink Moon by Nick Drake from Pink Moon JK--Classic folk song from the 70s is now as indelible as "Greensleeves."
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp To Just Grow Away by The Tallest Man On Earth from There's No Leaving Now JK--Excellent folk-pop artist from Sweden
"The #BigData challenge: How to develop a winning strategy" (http://bit.ly/KhKnK3) JK--Good discussion of cultivating data scientists skills
The Android app for IBM Lotus Notes is really good. Better than the Windows client, usability-wise.
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp New Slang by The Shins from Oh, Inverted World JK--Has feel of ancient folk song. Barely 10 years old.
I find myself turning to Yelp a fair amount when the wife & I are out shopping and/or dining. Just to know what's near, any good deals.
"#Hadoop becomes critical cog in the big data machine" (http://bit.ly/KhJf90) JK--Discusses feature in Hadoop 2.0 (YARN etc).
Zune being resurrected as tablet? (http://m.blogs.computerworld.com/macintosh/20539/phenomenological-guide-apple-and-microsofts-windows-zune-ipad-killer?source=CTWNLE_nlt_pm_2012-06-18) JK--Don't doom it at birth, Microsoft
" #IBM Sequoia Towers Above All Other Supercomputers" (http://bit.ly/KYkOxk ) JK--Chalked up 16.32 petaflops using almost 1.6 million cores
"Is Texting Ruining Art of Conversation?" (http://bit.ly/KYjOsY) JK--Every new tech said ruin this "art." Were we all Noel Coward pre-Web?
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Paul McCartney by Scissor Sisters fromTa-Dah JK--2006. Sounds nothing like Sir Paul. Just great disco-revival groove
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Wordy Rappinghood by Tom Tom Club JK--Love how Tina & Chris totally ownd their nerdiness on this fun early rap/hiphop
Anybody else feel twinge of disappointmnt when U think going 2 B "Sweet Home Alabama" but it's just that Kid Rock song, good as that is?
New #IBM JK blogpost: "Week's Worth of Koby Quick-Hits June 11th - 15th, 2012" (http://bit.ly/MJfBKi)
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Rowboat by Johnny Cash from Unchained JK--1996. Nice Nashville electrified twang in this. Feels like Cash does Byrds
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Mahindra Death Ride by The Bombay Royale from You Me Bullets Love JK--Very cool neo-Bollywood bombast. Could catch on
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Government Center by Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers JK--His songs are great, skating razor's edge of lameness
"Will social software startups "collapse into the orbit" of big vendors?" (http://zd.net/MB5R8j) JK--Good @dhinchcliffe article. Gr8 graphic
Have now connected my personal Android smartphone (securely) with my business email. Which means slippery slope to 24x7 biz email slave
"Mercury Craters Look Like Mickey Mouse in NASA Photo" (http://bit.ly/MnG6EC) JK--Secret's out. Disney acquired the planet last week.
"Are You a Leadership Anthropologist?" (http://bit.ly/MJ6GIH) JK--That's a bit patronizing. Just be a listener & observer. Like sociologist
RT @kexpplaylist #kexp Dumb Waiters by The Psychedelic Furs from Talk Talk Talk JK--Gr8 group whose influences showed like loose seams
Several times every work day, I, who am on the keyboard constantly, grope around and gripe to no one: "where's my goddamn pen!!!!!"
New #IBM #Netezza JK blogpost: "Data Scientists: Run Your Mad Experiments" (http://bit.ly/MJ5LYN)
Today's #IBM #Netezza FB JK quick-hit: "Experience optimization? Optimize big outcomes, don't sweat small stuff" (http://on.fb.me/MJ4XmQ)
Enjoying #forrester report "The Big Deal About Big Data For Customer Engagement" by Sanchit Gogia. Very comprehensive!
The June 7 #IBMDataChat on "What Skills Are Essential for #BigData?" was huge success. Involved & reached many influencers. Strong metrics!
"Twitter’s expanded tweets are double-edged sword" (http://bit.ly/MZGme5) JK--Twitter/TweetDeck is my primary social. Becoming media portal
"Netflix analyzes a lot of data about your viewing habits" (http://bit.ly/MZBuFX) JK--Massively scalable #Hadoop-powered next best action
"30 minutes or more: Why web content keeps getting longer" (http://bit.ly/MZztJJ) JK--Reminds me. My quickhits have grown 2 full-blog status
Ad graphics technique I hate is aggressive moving captions: pop out while somebody voiceovers exact same words. I CAN F-ING READ, IDIOTS!
Tonight on Twitter DM, everybody's saying "bitchass" things about me. It's been a bitchin' Father's Day!
Beach Boys "Graduation Day" (http://youtu.be/mCV4G2jKVVo) JK--Covering a Four Freshmen song. My old man loved the Four Freshmen. For Dad
Just finished "John," Cynthia's excellent reminiscence of 1st husband. Deepened my understanding of what a serious dick John Lennon could be
Bob Dylan "Maggie's Farm" (http://youtu.be/bW4y-9RoMFU) JK--To my late Dad on Dad Day. He mocked Dylan's voice when I had this on turntable
Ringo Starr on "Rowan& Martin's Laugh-In" (1970). Totally cool 2 see him light/jolly in US as Beatles go kaput (http://youtu.be/rfasUd6MY2k)
Eric T. Tung @EricTTung Advice for Fathers: Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
CNN Zakaria doing piece on "Dictators 2.0." New standard is all citizens required to "like" every FB status update issued by Head Honcho.
Father's Day. It's good to have at least one day a year to honor males who, like me, have managed to procreate.
RT @EventCloudPro: I spend Father's Day w/Unicorns in cloud, monetize w/RTB, log w/NoSQL, analyze w/Hadoop, visualize w/HTML5, & react w/CEP
