Tuesday, January 04, 2005

lol Inadvertently funny tech acronyms


I just ran across the following acronym in an e-mail newsletter (DEMOletter Weekly Edition):

* "END NOTES: PMP-ING WILL BE EASY: At this week's Consumer Electronics Show, get ready for an onslaught of portable media players (PMP), which lets consumers take their digital content (including TV shows and other video) on the go."

Just sound it out in the normal way. Anybody wanna pimp my ride? Pimp my handheld? Ah, yes.

But my all-time favorite inadvertently hilarious tech acronym award goes to (stop me if you've heard this one before):

* Segway Human Transporter (SHT)

I actually rode a SHT in a hallway at Microsoft in Redmond a few years ago. Loved it, actually. I also saw people on the streets there riding their personal SHTs. I couldn't help but think of Roman centurions rushing forth to battle in their stand-up carriages, pulled by virtual steeds. It felt so exquisitely ridiculous and dungeons and dragons and nerd-perfect.

It also put me in mind of the AMC Gremlin. One of those painfully embarrassing vehicular memories from the 70s that seemed, at the time, kinda OK cuz it was fuel-efficient. But it was a half-chopped-off toy semi-car. Likewise, the SHT is a stand-up golfcart, essentially. I don't know about you. But I'd rather sit. I'd rather not be exposed to the elements. I'd rather not block the wind. I'd rather be seated and sleek and aerodynamic. Give me a Vespa anyday.

I'm from Detroit originally and I have long memories of engineering-push macho muscle car contraptions that failed miserably because they were ungainly (Delorean anybody?). The SHT was a computer-geek's nouveau virtual-delorean of a fiasco-mobile.

Oh, yes. The SHT ran on hydrogen? Didn't the Hindenburg run on hydrogen? Oh, the humanity!