Monday, January 24, 2005

self Brain overload: Too much to do, too little time


Pointer to article:,10801,98770,00.html?source=NLT_WK&nid=98770

Kobielus kommentary:
Yeah, I know: same ol’, same ol’. We’re all swimming in this overheating fish pond. “The stress of modern work life may be literally driving us to distraction.”

Complex times can make even the relatively well-moored feel like we’re suffering from ADT. I don’t, but sometimes I feel like the environment is filling me with a mental form of secondhand smoke.

In case you’re wondering why I haven’t posted anything to this blog in the past week, this headline more or less summarizes it. Everything piling up: looking for a full-time job, taking various freelance consulting and writing gigs to pay the bills, dealing with various system and connectivity issues, running my household, dealing with various family issues, etc. Oh….and, of course, continue to read the IT industry news, think about it all, and post my thoughts to this blog. Sometimes some things need to give under the pressure of events. This has been one of them. So has my poetry. I have only written one new piece this month/year (“OO”). Just haven’t felt like it.

It’s not so much my brain but my heart that’s been overloaded. I’m 46 years old now and feel like it. Fortunately (and this is semi-ironic) I’ve finally brought down my weight to my target: 142 pounds, which is what I weighed at the age of 19. This has come about not so much through worry and nervous exhaustion but from 3+ years of exercise and diet. At least I’m entering into middle age a relatively trim man (trying to avoid the weight issues that aggravated my father’s heart disease and contributed to his death at age 54 in 1978--in many ways, I physically and temperamentally resemble Bill Kobielus very closely, and am always conscious of that existential fact).

These are complex, trying times, full of people and events conspiring to add to our worries. As if we need any “help.” Oh….system issues…in the past week I’ve been afflicted with a spyware infestation on my main desktop computer (Windows XP SP 1—I’m just now getting around to upgrading to SP2). Yes, I’ve had anti-spyware “protection” on that system (Ad-Aware, Spybot S&D), but none of it has prevented a boatload of new crap from pooping itself down from the ether. The worst thing about the new infestation is that it has crashed IE, Windows Explorer, and Control Panel (fortunately, I can still get to all of this if I put Windows in “safe mode”). The number one culprit in all this are these ironically named browser “helper” objects that silently introduce themselves through IE’s holes. In case you’re wondering, I made Mozilla Firefox my default browser several weeks ago, but that still didn’t stop the IE-borne spyware—Windows just seems to start up IE whenever it feels like it, so having Mozilla as my default has been no “inoculation.”

I’m typing this from my (new) laptop, on which I’ve beefed up the anti-spyware (I’m also using Spyware Blaster) now.

Trying times. I’m trying. I really am. Ironically, since I lost my job, I've been busier than ever (not sure it's all been the right kind of busy, though). I’m taking actions, trying to ward off distraction and depression. Thanks (if you’re tuning into my blog) for your patience. I’ll have new real content-laden bloggings shortly.

Got any leads on good jobs? I’m looking for product management or consulting positions. Identity management, security, integration middleware, BPM, wireless/mobile, etc. I cover a broad range.

Call me at 703-924-6224 or e-mail me at Even if it’s not about jobs, I need to talk to human beings. Thanks.